NeuroNote #3 - Still Alice

For my third NeuroNote, I watched the film Still Alice. This film follows Alice, who is a mother, teacher, wife, and friend, as she experiences symptoms of memory loss and eventually discovers that she has Familial Alzheimer’s Disease.

            This film began by showing Alice, her husband, and her three children gathering to celebrate “the most beautiful and intelligent woman” they have ever known. Alice is a loving mother who has three very different children, but only wants the best for each of them and gives them as much love as she can provide. The movie goes through various days of Alice’s life and shows the different encounters she has when she is not able to recall random things from her memory. It begins by showing her on her normal run and becoming disoriented on her route. After this event, she goes to see a neurologist alone to discuss these small slip-ups in her memory. Upon the first visit with the neurologist, she is prompted to recall a name and address, which she is unable to do. After her appointment, she is seen re-introducing herself to her son’s girlfriend and forgetting recipes she has always made. At this point in the film, I began to realize that individuals with Alzheimer’s disease are not just disoriented to their surroundings, but they lose the memories of things they enjoy doing for their children, like making banana pudding. Those small things that mother’s like Alice enjoy doing are stripped from them and it feels as if her role as a mother is also being stolen.
             When she returns to see the neurologist, she is formally diagnosed with Familial Alzheimer’s Disease. Her children then decide to be tested for the genetic disease in which one child tests negative, one refuses to see their results, and one child is positive, but is also pregnant with twins. I was crushed by this news because as strong as Alice has tried to be, she now has to be strong for her daughter because she feels at fault for her daughter’s horrible future. A caring, devoted, and intelligent woman who has done no wrong has not only been diagnosed with a disease that will steal all she has ever known from her, but she now feels like a burden to her family and must live knowing that she has made her future part of her daughter’s future. This impact on her life drove her to film a video on her laptop for her future, very disoriented self to watch that will instruct her to overdose. This broke my heart. How can a person be in such a dark place that they feel that is the only way out? Jumping to the end of the film, Alice drops the pills that she is instructed to take, her husband moves to take a new job, and her youngest daughter, Lidia, becomes her caretaker. Lisa Genova, once again, ends the story in a confusing scene which prompts the viewer to think about what the rest of Alice’s life will be like.

            I chose to complete my neuronote over Alzheimer’s type Dementia because although I feel that I have a good grasp on the signs, symptoms, and impact of it, I have only experienced this condition from the sidelines. I felt that the best way for me to dig deeper into this disease was to watch a film, even if it is not based on a true story, and put myself into the lives of those affected by Alzheimer’s Disease.

By doing this, I have not only developed a new sense of compassion for those who are forced to experience this disease first hand, but I have also become profoundly scared of what this condition does to a person. The way it steals your own thoughts and loved memories from you breaks my heart and genuinely scares me. However, it has also encouraged me to pour every bit of myself into the opportunities I will be given in the future to work with individuals who are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s because they truly need every ounce of support they can get because they are still the person they have always been. They did nothing to deserve this horrible condition, but they do deserve everything they desire because the things they hold closest to their hearts—memories—are being stolen from them and they have no way to defend themselves. I am determined to be that support and that reassurance for someone one day.

            This film also showed the importance of loved ones in your life if you are diagnosed with this disease. Not only for support, but for someone to trust to take care of you, even when you aren’t sure who they are or why they are with you anymore. They will pick up the pieces that you aren’t aware you’ve dropped. You need that person to complete the small things in your life that you never thought you could need another person for. Someone who will accept every part of you without judgement when you slip up. Someone who can look into your confused, lost eyes and realize that you are still the person they love and will ensure that you are provided with the best care possible. I believe that if you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you need to put yourself in this situation and ensure that your spouse can be that someone.

            I accessed this film on Amazon for $2.99. If anyone is interested in furthering their knowledge of Dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease, this is a great movie to watch. It will prepare you for what you will most likely encounter in a future in OT and grow your OT heart even larger than you thought it could.

Genova, L. (Producer), Glatzer, R. (Director). (2014). Still Alice [Motion Picture]. United States: Sony Pictures Classics.